I have to admit. I had another text for these photographs. But I realized you may want to hear the story behind the photopoems, not a perfect polished text. I want to present 2 pages from the new book I’m working on, probably the most important for me.
Is love the answer?
I’ve created the image on the left when my grandmother was in the hospital. I’ve never shared this image because I thought it was not good enough until someone pointed out to me otherwise. One year after we lost our grandfather, she had a brain stroke.
You see, when you lose a loved one, seems like all the world turns black. My mother calls me in one morning. I’ve understood from her silence. Finally, she only says this:
-“Granpa it’s no longer.”
Time became unreal. I remember only bits and pieces. For a while, I’ve tried to block it all out. I’ve forgotten many of the memories. Still, there are images, so strong, so vivid, I see like they’ve happened yesterday. I remember driving fast home, feeling I’ll be late for something and time was critical. A beautiful smell made me look up. The blossom trees were casting shadows fast, light, dark, like in a dream. I know by heart the smell, these trees, this street. We’ve walked it together so many times. It is the image from the story that my grandmother told me again and again:
-“You were so little when we brought you home, you were looking at me with those big blue eyes, walking the street that leads home with the blossom trees casting shadows on a sunny day.”
After the funeral, she fainted. I was trying to hold her when I was thinking that I’m going to lose her too.
The doctors came and said she needs some rest, she is ok, they can’t explain, but sometimes, when the loved one of an old person dies, they remain heartbroken. Rarely, but they’ve seen it before.
She slowly recovered after the brain stroke, was very lucid, and understood very well the world, but now she had a reason to hide and forget.
I don’t remember much from my grandfather’s funeral. I member the grief. I remember my aunt hold me and repeated in a whisper:
-“He loved you so much, you know?!”
In every dark moment, we have to search for the love inside.
Wherever there is an ocean of grief, there will be a river of endless love.
The meaning in this life is to love. To understand that we didn’t love enough. Whenever you will feel an emptiness in your heart, know, you didn’t love enough. Our purpose in this life is to expand our hearts, each day, each moment, each second. When a loved one dies, the pain of loss can feel unbearable, the pain can crush you in a heartbeat.
