I think one of my favorite month from the 366 PhotoPoetry Project is April. When I look at the photographs, I am amazed by the fact that a simple image can capture the entire day. I can still vividly remember all the feelings and emotions I had that day. I can still remember all the thoughts, details and all the preparations I made to write the poetry and make the photograph.
When April 2016 started I felt so inspired, I just wanted to create, having an inexhaustible inspiration, flow of energy and peaceful moments.
The time was silent. The weather was warm. It was like stepping into a magical world without fear, worries or negative thoughts. I was finally simply happy. I had left behind all the guilt. I gave myself permission to redraw from the world and be free. I was grateful for every moment because I knew this is just a phase and it will also pass. Although sometimes I felt guilty, thinking to myself I don’t deserve this little corner of a piece of mind or happiness. I was living every moment with joy. I felt my heart beating again. I accepted every flaw in my work because it was the reflection of the day: the emotion, as imperfect as it was. Some days were full of sadness, some days I was just bored, other days I was lonely. Sometimes I was happy.
Losing a person so dear to me, just last year, it was like losing a part of me. With my loss, came a great pain, and as I was going on this heavy burden path, with every step I was more lonely, with every step I was more real. It was like a dark heavy silk veil unraveling and revealing a world that I never saw, that I always refuse to see. I realized why I was so sad: because this was not my dream. I was not living my truth or my life. I was stuck in a depression, I had lost all hope for a better life and compromise trying to convince myself this is good, meanwhile, I was dying inside.
I wanted to move forward, I know I had to, but I was afraid.
A few years ago I had to pack everything I owned and move, so most of my things were still in the boxes in which I packed and carried them where I live now. As time moved on I realized that most of them I really don’t need, there are just a burden, distraction from life and they only steal time.
Like people, or feelings. It takes a lot of grief to realize how much time people and things have stolen from you and accept everything that is keeping you back from your true path.
And I start to wonder…
What are the things that are stopping us to do what we love?
What are the things that are keeping us not live the life that we love?
Why we accept our blindness and not see everything that kills our dreams, and slowly ourselves?
It is time to let go. It is time to heal.
